ChronicMemory-borne
Reusydia
Patient refuses to release the password.
Emotionally dependent on one password and smiling through breach exposure.
Reference guide
The CTD Index
A suspiciously formal catalogue of conditions nobody wants on the record.
Highly SendableLink-borne
Clicklamydia
Clicks first, develops opinions about URLs later.
Feels chemistry with any blue underlined thing that arrives uninvited.
Suspiciously MoistSquare-borne
QRpes
Scans mystery squares with the confidence of a lab volunteer.
Believes every monochrome box is a public service announcement.
Needs a Grown-UpBoss-borne
Bossulism
Sudden obedience triggered by executive punctuation and fake urgency.
Develops immediately after a message says the boss needs this handled quietly.
Terminally ObviousInvoice-borne
Payphilis
An invoice arrived and your skepticism immediately took lunch.
Produces expensive generosity toward strangers with polished email signatures.
AdvancedInvoice-borne
Bankorrhea
Bank details mutate the moment nobody wants to make a phone call.
Causes payment coordinates to change spontaneously in attachment form.
Probably Fine, Which Means Not FinePanic-borne
Pushulism
Repeated login approvals arrive like notifications from an obsessed ex.
The patient mistakes authentication fatigue for a customer service problem.
Embarrassingly CommonClipboard-borne
Pasteuritis
Clipboard enters a chatbot and forgets what confidentiality means.
Often flares up during deadlines, curiosity, and spontaneous prompt engineering.
UntreatedConsent-borne
Consentorrhea
Approves strange app permissions with the calm of someone signing for a parcel.
Creates a warm, trusting relationship with alarming permission scopes.
Probably Fine, Which Means Not FineExtension-borne
Extensiosis
Invites one little browser helper to inspect the entire internet.
Typically begins with productivity promises and ends with odd permissions everywhere.
Needs a Grown-UpAttachment-borne
Attachanoma
Opens mystery files as if ZIPs are an expression of trust.
Makes the patient strangely optimistic about invoices, resumes, and surprise documents.
Highly SendableCalendar-borne
Calenditis
A meeting request appears and somehow becomes an authority figure.
Patient believes anything on the calendar has already been background checked.
AdvancedVendor-borne
Vendorrhea
Another company's mess enters your building wearing a lanyard.
Infections spread efficiently through inherited trust and cheerful account managers.
Embarrassingly CommonSaaS-borne
SaaSles
A new tool appears because asking permission sounded emotionally difficult.
Highly contagious in teams with deadlines, procurement forms, and no patience.
Needs a Grown-UpHelpdesk-borne
Helpdeskitis
Support staff become spiritually allergic to identity checks.
Causes urgent callers to sound persuasive and verification steps to evaporate.
Suspiciously MoistRecruiter-borne
Recruiter Fever
Professional fonts were mistaken for proof of innocence.
Common in hiring cycles, inboxes full of attachments, and moments of misplaced optimism.
Terminally ObviousPortal-borne
Portalis
Sees a login page and assumes the internet did its own paperwork.
Patient enters credentials into surfaces that merely look professionally laminated.
Probably Fine, Which Means Not FineWi-Fi-borne
Wi-Fluenza
Connects to unknown hotspots like they are old family friends.
Often spikes in airports, cafes, hotels, and moments of network desperation.
Highly SendableScreenshot-borne
Screenshotosis
Thinks redaction is whatever happened to be off screen.
The patient shares rectangular evidence without noticing the disaster in the corner.
AdvancedVoice-borne
Deepfakitis
Mistakes synthetic confidence for managerial authority.
A dramatic condition in which a familiar voice overrides every normal instinct.